


How Does One Explain It?

by drewutwo



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7207925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drewutwo/pseuds/drewutwo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex hates Tobin. She can't even stand to be around the girl, but why?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Alex Morgan is the most popular girl in her high school. She is smart, athletic and drop dead gorgeous. Every guy has a crush on her, heck even the gay ones say they would drunkenly hook up with the girl. 

The junior seems to have everyone wrapped around her finger, but she is still the humblest person one would ever meet, well maybe second. Alex’s life is filling out just perfectly. She is the starting forward on her high school’s prestigious soccer team, she is signing her commitment letter for Berkeley, and everyone adores her.

Written down, no one could argue Alex’s life isn’t perfect, so why does she feel this way?

Tobin Heath. That’s why. Alex Morgan hates Tobin Heath. 

Alex knew who Tobin was in middle school because the 7th and 8th grade soccer teams often rode the bus together to away games, and had their practice fields right next to each other. The two teams rarely interacted and Alex never batted an eye about it. 

It wasn’t until high school when Alex realized she disliked the girl. She had no rationale for it, she just simply did not like Tobin Heath and to make matters worse, the Heath’s moved across the street from the Morgan’s because they wanted to downsize their house, now that Tobin’s two older sisters moved out and lived with their fiancés. 

When Alex heard Tobin would not be playing on the team this year, because she wanted to train with boys before heading to UNC, she was relieved. Alex couldn’t understand why everyone was going to miss Tobin so much. She also didn’t understand why everyone loved her so much. Every time Alex saw Tobin, fire was building up in her chest. Everyone knew of Alex’s hatred of Tobin, but whenever they asked Alex why, she never could give a legitimate answer. 

“There’s no way someone is that chill.”  
“She seems fake.”  
“She’s alright at soccer.” 

Okay, even that last one Alex knew was a stretch because Tobin was really good at soccer, and she heard Tobin got better while playing with boys over the summer. 

Alex headed to her driveway to hop in her car for school. Her hand reached for the car door handle when she heard the voice that makes her blood boil. She looked over and saw Tobin closing her front door, hopping on her long board, and riding down the driveway onto the street. Alex just stared at the girl and Tobin briefly made eye contact with Alex, but turned her head and started skating away. 

Alex just scoffed, ‘Who does Tobin think she is? I’m Tobin, I’m so cool. I long board to school. Vomit.”

Alex got into her car and made the quick drive to school. When she pulled into the student parking lot, she saw her teammates gathered around the usual spot. She parked her car and was just about to walk over to her group of friends, when she felt a gust of wind on her back and a skating Tobin pass by her. Tobin stopped her board right in front of her former teammates and engaged in conversation.

Alex was not in the mood to hear Tobin joke and laugh, so she bypassed her teammates and headed inside to school. 

She just wanted to get the day over with already and it wasn’t even first period. 

‘Ugh, this is going to be a long day.’ 

The seniors at her high school had off-campus lunch, so she knew she wasn’t going to be seeing Tobin sitting at the lunch table with the rest of the team like last year. At least, once a period Alex would complain about Tobin in her head and then she would complain again that Tobin is taking up space in her mind when she can be focusing on her studies. 

The bell, signaling lunch, went off and Alex started making her way to the cafeteria. She looked in her book bag for her lunch money, but had no luck. She knew she had an emergency twenty in her car and her stomach growling, was definitely an emergency. 

She was leaning over her seat reaching into the center consul finding the twenty. 

‘A ha!” She grabbed the bill and closed the door. 

She walked towards the front of her car, not paying attention when a hard object knocked into her. 

“Ouch.” Alex was on the ground clutching her knee closing her eyes just breathing. She knew it was nothing serious, but skin was certainly broken. 

“Oh my god, Alex. I- I am so sorry.” That voice was enough to shoot open Alex’s eyes and she glared up at Tobin. 

Alex did not say anything to Tobin. In fact, unless she was calling for the ball on the field, her and Tobin have maybe only spoken a few words together. 

“Alex, please say something. Is your knee okay?” Tobin sounded desperate, but Alex couldn’t formulate words. 

Tobin extended her hand in attempts to help Alex stand up, but the stubbornness in Alex took over as she refused Tobin’s hand, choosing to stand up alone. 

“I’m fine.” It was cold and uninviting for Tobin to continue conversation. Tobin went to open her mouth but closed it realizing there was no point. She never understood why Alex hated her so much. They had great on-field chemistry, but their off-field chemistry was painful. 

Tobin went over to her board that got away from her when she hit Alex and directed it towards the soccer field. Alex just watched Tobin skate towards the field with a puzzled look on her face. 

The rest of the day went smoothly, but practice is when things turned for the worst. Alex hated to admit this, but she needed Tobin on the team. No one could give her the passes that she could. What is a forward without a midfielder? This just made her angrier at Tobin. ‘How can she be so selfish?’

Two months went by and the team learned how to play without the midfielder. They had a rocky start going 0 for 2 in their first two games, but turned their season around and ended up winning the next 9 games. 

They had their toughest opponent tonight, their crosstown rivals. 

“If we win tonight, Dom’s said the men’s soccer team will throw us a party!” Sydney yelled throughout the locker room. 

“Oh yea! I love their parties! I call the beer pong table first, right Kling?” Moe threw her arm around Meghan’s shoulders. 

“You can have it first Moe, because that’ll be the only time you play when I beat you,” Ashlyn smirked and then fist bumped her beer pong partner, Ali. 

“No, Ash, I won’t let you do this to me again. I didn’t get the table for the rest of the party last time. I forbid you from playing the first game against me.” Ashlyn just laughed at the girl and decided to be nice and let her have the first game. 

Alex just shook her head and laughed at her teammates as they continued to banter about the after party. 

“Guys, how about we win first, then talk about who has to do a naked lap later at the party, sound good?’’ Alex said as she threw on her headphones and began to do mental visualizations. Alex wasn’t that superstitious, she had her quirks for sure, but she didn’t like to have a special routine, in case it couldn’t be completed. But, a new superstition she acquired was subconsciously, and she never understood why. But, she always looked at the locker Tobin used to sit at. This locker was now taken over by Lindsey Horan. Lindsey often caught Alex looking over at her locker, but Alex would diverge her eyes. 

The game was 0 to 0 at half, and Alex’s game was off. She was struggling with her one touch and she wasn’t leaning over the ball. All of her shots soared well above the crossbar. As they were heading onto the field for the second half, Alex heard Lauren say, “Look! There’s Tobin! Ah…She said she wasn’t going to be able to come to the game.” 

Alex looked at Tobin sitting on the bench talking to their coach. ‘Great.’ 

Alex went to her position and when the referee blew his whistle she took off. Lindsey sent a long ball towards Carli, who headed to ball to Alex, who one touched it right into the back of the net. Just like that, they were up 1-0. Alex couldn’t explain the sudden drive she felt in her body in the second half, but she was unstoppable. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she would look over on the bench to see if Tobin noticed a good pass she did or a nice shot she had, but every time she looked at the bench, Tobin wasn’t looking. 

The game ended up being 4-0 and Alex scored two of the goals. After they shook hands with the other team, they did their routine of high fiving themselves. Tobin went up to Alex and congratulated her. “Uh, great game out there, Alex. You had some great passes and your shots were killer. If that goalie didn’t make that incredible save you would have had a hat trick.” 

“Oh, thanks,” Alex mumbled out as she rejoined her team heading towards the locker room. 

“PARTY!! Dom already texted me that the party is starting as soon as possible because all the fans and students were on a high from the game!” Sydney shouted as she started to undress and head to the showers. 

The team showered and left the school going home to their respective houses to get ready for the epic celebration of tonight’s game. Alex was throwing clothes all over her room. 

“Ugh, I cant find anything I like to wear right now! I’m having one of those days.” 

“Alex, whatever you wear, everyone is going to do a double…no…triple take no matter what,” Kelley reassured the girl. “Here,” she picked out a white romper, with old fashioned black and white converse, “this will look adorable on you, and it has pockets!” 

Alex tried on the outfit her friend picked out and Kelley was right, she did look adorable. She put her hands in the pockets and twirled around. When they were ready to go, they made the walk to the next neighborhood over where the party was being thrown. 

All of the sports teams, and fans were scattered all throughout the house playing drinking games and conversing with one another. Alex saw Moe cheering so hard as she beat Ashlyn in beer pong. “Everyone! SHUT UP! I have an important announcement to make!” Moe screamed over the party. Someone turned off the music for the young girl, “thank you, kind stranger, “she slurred out. “I just want everyone to know that I BEAT ASHLYN AT BEER PONG!” The entire party erupted in cheers and the kind stranger blasted the music. 

Alex was having a great time. She had a great buzz on and she was in the kitchen talking to a bunch of guys on the soccer team with Kelley. 

The guys were getting a little too touchy for Alex’s liking, so she always kept a good distance between her and them. Kelley, on the other hand, enjoyed the attention and flirting. Alex took the last sip of her drink and went to go refill her cup. She sauntered to the other side of the kitchen where the keg was. 

“Oh, shit!” Alex felt wetness all over the side of her romper. She looked down to see it was now beer stained. She looked at the culprit to see the none other, Tobin Heath. Tobin began to grab napkins near by and blot at the girl’s romper. “Alex, I am so sorry. Shit. Fuck. I –“ 

“I got it.” It was harsh, but Alex was pissed. She grabbed the napkins from Tobin.

“Here, you can take my flannel. It will cover the stain.” Tobin began to take off her flannel, but Alex stopped her. 

“Tobin, just get out of my face.” Tobin’s face deflated. She stood there with her flannel in her hands not knowing what to do, but she figured she might as well get out of Alex’s face. 

Alex had not seen Tobin for the rest of the party. She drank to forget the stain on her romper and she drank to forget Tobin was even there. 

“C’mon, Alex, one dance.” Some drunken guy on the baseball team put his hands on Alex’s waist and began to pull her towards him. Alex could feel the hot breath on her face and it made her want to throw up. She put her hands on his chest to push him off of her. He wasn’t budging though. He refused to let the girl go. “Do not yell, do not make a scene. Dance with me now,” he whispered in her ear. Alex was frightened. She tried to push him off of her again, but quietly. 

“Stop fightin –“

“I suggest you get your hands off of her if you want to be able to play baseball this season,” Tobin said as she stood behind Alex. Tobin’s voice sent chills down Alex’s body and she had that warm fuzzy feeling. 

Something in Tobin’s eyes made the guy immediately let go of Alex. Once she felt the guy let go, she went to turn around, but she was standing in front of no one, with no Tobin in sight. 

Alex had this uneasy feeling for the rest of the night. She decided the party was too much for her and she wanted to head home. She made her way outside the house and began her trek home. She got to the end of the driveway when she saw Tobin on the phone. 

“Yea. No, you’re right. I just thought I would try. Yea, I’ll stop. Uh- I gotta go.” Tobin hung up the phone and stuck it in her back pocket. Alex wondered what the older girl was talking about, but she wasn’t about to ask. 

Tobin went to say something to Alex, but she just walked in the direction of her house.

“Tobin, wait.” Alex’s eyes grew wide at her own voice. Tobin stopped, and slowly turned to face Alex. 

She didn’t say anything, after all why should she? Alex called her name. 

“I just. I just want to say thanks,” Alex admitted shuffling her feet. 

“No problem.” Tobin’s answer was short. She turned back around to continue walking home.

Alex sped up next to the girl. “Tobin…”

“Alex, I said no problem. What else do you want from me?” This wasn’t the Tobin Alex knew. This Tobin’s voice was cold and sad.

“I want you to walk me home.” ‘What?’ Alex thought to herself. 

“You want me to walk you home?” Tobin felt like she was asking herself the question. 

“Yes. You saved me back there and I am scared that guy is going to be nearby.” 

“Okay.” Tobin sounded unsure, but they lived across the street, so it made no sense to not walk home together. 

The walk was silent, but in Alex’s drunken state, the voice in her head wouldn’t shut up. 

“Alright, we are here. I’ll see ya, Alex.” Alex was too focused on her thoughts that she didn’t realize they ended up in front of their houses. 

“Oh…by-” But Tobin was already at her front door. 

Alex was happy she had enough alcohol in her system where she would pass out as soon as she hit her bed.


	2. Chapter 2

“Al! What happened to you last night?? That guy was totally into you!” Kelley came over the next morning and Alex mentally cursed at the girl for being so loud so early in the morning. 

“How do you not get hung over, Kel?” Alex groaned into the pillow, not really wanting to divulge into the real behavior of the guy.

“Alex, we are young. We should be able to bounce back. Now, tell me why you wouldn’t make a move with that guy.” Kelley was relentless. 

“I don’t know. I just wasn’t feeling it, I guess.” Alex rolled on her side to face Kelley. 

“Al…you are wanted by every guy in high school, but you don’t seem interested in any of them. You haven’t been in a real relationship, and I can’t remember the last time you agreed to go on a date with someone.” 

“That’s not true. I went on a date with Joey three weeks ago.” 

“You went on it because you were hungry and he was paying.” Kelley rolled her eyes. 

“A girl’s gotta eat, Kel.” Alex let out a soft smile, but Kelley wasn’t reciprocating it. “I’m kidding.”

“Alex, can I ask you something, and I promise to never bring it up again?” Kelley bit her lip, only something she does when she is nervous. 

“Uh, sure?” Alex is hesitant to what the girl wants to ask her. 

“Do you…um…gosh, I can’t believe I’m going to ask this…do you like girls? I mean it’s totally cool if you do and I wouldn’t judge you.” 

Alex leaned up quickly and her eyes were filled with rage. “No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Am I sure if I don’t like girls? Yes. I am Alex Morgan; I don’t like girls.” Kelley couldn’t help but notice the more Alex spoke the more defensive she was getting.

Seeing Alex’s reaction, Kelley quickly dropped the topic. 

At school, Kelley walked into the building from the student parking lot to see Alex leaning against a locker talking to Joey. Kelley noticed Alex was being a little friendlier than normal and her hand hasn’t left Joey’s bicep. Kelley thought this was weird of her friend and probably had something to do with their talk over the weekend. 

Every time Kelley saw Alex between classes or at lunch she was with Joey. When she was heading to the locker room for practice, she saw them talking outside the girls’ locker room. Alex leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek before opening the door. 

“Hey Al, want to get dinner after practice?” Kelley asked. 

“Can’t. I’m getting dinner with Joey tonight,” she answered while putting on her socks.

“Al, if this is about what we talked abou-“

“It’s not. You just reminded me I haven’t hung out with him in awhile and I should start dating.” Alex grabbed her cleats and left the locker room. 

The next day at school, Kelley was talking to Tobin when she saw Alex walking down the hallway, without Joey attached to her hip, surprisingly. Alex walked up to Kelley, even though she was standing with Tobin. 

Alex greeted the two. Tobin noticed that the girl did not acknowledge her existence.

Kelley wasted no time. “How was your date?” 

“It was good!” Alex said cheerfully with a wide smile. “We are going out again tomorrow night. I’m actually on my way to go see him right now. Bye!” Alex walked past the two and continued down the hall.

“I know her and I aren’t friends, but that sounded extremely fake to me,” Tobin spoke out to a Kelley watching Alex walk down the hall. 

Kelley nodded in agreement. Even Tobin picked up on it. 

“C’mon, let’s go to class.” Tobin followed after her friend. 

“So, where are you going on your date?” Sydney asks Alex.

“Some restaurant, I guess. I wasn’t really paying attention when he told me.” Alex is in her closet picking out an outfit. She chose jeans and a casual tee with converse. 

“Jeez, Al, don’t sound too excited for the date,” Sydney joked. “Is that what you are wearing?” She raised one eye brow at Alex’s lack of effort outfit. 

“Uh, yea? Why?” Alex said while looking down at her fashion choice.

“It’s just, I don’t know. Don’t you want to put something nicer on? He’s taking you to dinner. You should wear something that’ll make him want to jump your bone!”

“Syd!!” 

“What? Alex, this is the first guy you have seriously taken interest in. You’ve been a little tense lately; he’ll help you with some…release.” Sydney winked at her friend. 

“I repeat. Syd!!” 

“Look, I gotta go, but just think about it.” Sydney got up and left Alex’s room. Alex walked over to her mirror and glanced at herself. ‘Is she right? Should I change?’ Alex checked her watch and saw that Joey was going to be there any minute. ‘Eh, I’m good,’ she thought to herself as she grabbed her purse and walked downstairs waiting for him to show up. Two minutes later, her phone chimed off. It was a text from Joey letting her know he was outside. 

Joey reached for Alex’s hand as they entered the restaurant. Alex kept looking down at the intertwined hands. A feeling of discomfort took over her body. They got to their table and Alex was thankful that she could have her hand back. 

Alex was half paying attention to the story Joey was telling. She kept looking at him trying to find things that made her attracted to him. ‘He has a nice smile. I’ve seen better, but his is still nice. Um, his eyes are, well brown. Let’s see, he has a great body. He is super sweet to me, but immature at times. Ugh, why is this so hard?’ 

“Alex?” Her thoughts are interrupted by Joey’s voice.

“Sorry! I guess I zoned out deciding if I made the right choice for dinner.” She batted her eyes and smiled, so he wouldn’t be mad. He just chuckled at her and called her adorable.

When a guy calls a girl adorable she should get that warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach. That feeling never happened to Alex. The only time she ever got that feeling was, nevermind.

Alex excused herself to the bathroom to go freshen up. When she returned she saw her friend, Callie walking into the restaurant. Her face lit up and she was about to make her way over to say hi, but stopped in her tracks when she saw who she was with. Tobin. 

Alex quickly made it back to her table without letting Tobin or Callie see her. She saw Tobin pull the chair out for Callie as she smiled and sat down. 

Alex wanted to leave the restaurant. She wanted to be anywhere else.

Luckily, Joey had paid the bill while she went to the bathroom. He grabbed her hand and headed to the door. Unfortunately, they needed to walk by the table Callie and Tobin were sitting at to leave. ‘Ugh.’

“Alex! Joey!” Callie cheerfully yelled as the two made their way towards the table. 

“Hey girls,” Joey spoke out for the two. 

Alex smiled at Callie and then looked at Tobin really quick, but darted her eyes away when they made eye contact. Her and Callie were making short conversation, but Alex could feel Tobin’s eyes on her and she had this sudden urge that she wished she wasn’t wearing this outfit anymore.

They all said their goodbyes and Alex rushed out of the restaurant. She asked Joey if he could take her home because it was a school night. She saw the look of disappointment in his face, but she didn't care. 

“Ugh, was Callie on a date with Tobin? Why would my friend go on a date with Tobin? Why can’t Tobin choose anyone else? Why did she go for my friend?” Alex was pacing around her room talking to herself. She flopped on the bed frustrated. She attempted to go to bed, but failed. She pulled out her laptop and went on Tumblr. As she was scrolling through her feed, she came across a lot of gifs of girls making out with girls. She continued to slowly scroll down and a weird feeling was building up in her core. She quickly shut her laptop.

Behind the view of where her laptop screen was, is her window. She watched Tobin get out of her car, close the door and then put her hands on top of it, as she hung her head low. 

Tobin slammed her hands down on her car and then headed inside her house. Alex wondered what made Tobin react the way she did. 

At school the next day, Alex was sitting in one of her classes that had Kelley and Tobin in it. Tobin and Kelley were in conversation and Alex didn’t feel like interacting with Tobin, so she just sat there facing forward. She wasn’t planning on eavesdropping, but when it involved Callie, she had to listen.

“So, how did your date with Callie go?” Alex slightly leaned her head closer to Kelley and Tobin, but pretended to read the book in front of her. 

“It wasn’t a date, Kelley.” Alex couldn’t explain the relief she felt. She just rationed that she didn’t want Tobin seeing one of her friends.

“You bought her dinner. Drove her home, and she gave you a kiss on the cheek.”

“I just, I don’t know. I didn’t feel anything. I tried. Believe me, I tried. It was going so well. We went to the mall before hand. I helped her pick out a gift for her dad for his birthday, and we were laughing and having a great time, but when we got to the restaurant,” she paused and this caused Alex to lean even closer. “The connection just disappeared, I guess. I don’t know where it went.” Tobin’s voice was low and Alex thought she could hear a slight ping of disappointment in it. 

“You can try again. I am sure she will go out with you again,” Kelley said comforting Tobin. Kelley’s voice got really quiet, “you need to try, Tobin.” ‘Try? Try what?’ Alex asked herself in her head. 

“I know. I-” Thud. Alex was leaning so much she fell out of her chair and landed right next to Kelley’s legs. Tobin and Kelley both turned their attention to Alex on the floor. 

“Uh, hey Al, you good there?” Kelley asked.

“Yea, I think I fell asleep in my chair. Wow,” she said standing up and brushing her clothes with her hands before returning to her seat. 

She mentally cursed herself because Tobin and Kelley never finished their conversation and she wanted to find out what Tobin knows. 

A week passed since Alex’s fall. She had been avoiding any interaction with Tobin, which was easy to do because Tobin always gave the girl her space. 

Today, was the State Championship Title Game and Alex was being a nervous wreck. All day, during class, she had been constantly wiping her sweaty palms against her shorts. She needed something to calm herself down, but nothing was working. 

At lunch, she decided to go the field because that is where she felt the calmest. When she walked onto the field she saw someone sitting on one of the benches with their head in the hands. Alex walked over to the figure, but the closer she got the more she realized who the figure was. 

Tobin picked her head up and saw Alex staring at her. She didn’t say anything to Alex. She just stood up and started making her way to the parking lot. After she passed Alex a few feet later, she stopped and said over her shoulder, “Good luck today. Not that you need it.” 

Alex was calm. 

During the game, Alex was playing the best she has ever played. She would look up in the stands, occasionally and see Tobin watching the game and when Tobin was watching, Alex’s touches were the cleanest, but when she saw Tobin laughing at something Callie said, Alex went in to a tackle, hard. The stands went quiet after they saw Alex plow into a girl. The referee handed Alex a yellow, which infuriated the striker even more. When Alex looked up in the stands again, she saw Callie trying to talk to Tobin, but Tobin’s attention was on Alex. 

The game ended and Alex scored the winning goal. The fans rushed the field and two guys picked up Alex cheering her name. The crowd was so massive; Alex couldn’t find a single teammate of hers. She was finally put on the ground, but people kept bumping into her or jumping on top of her, she was getting a little worried and her anxiety was taking over her body. She was having a hard time breathing. Her face would go from happy to fear, back to happy, back to fear. 

She felt someone tug on her arm and pull her out of the mass. The hand belonged to Tobin. Tobin brought Alex to safety and over to her teammates, so she could celebrate with them without the risk of getting injured by the rowdy, drunk, fans. Tobin released Alex’s arm and went over to Lauren. Alex couldn’t keep her eyes off of Tobin congratulating her teammates. Suddenly, she found herself wishing she was back in the mosh pit because she just wanted to get away.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a tradition on the soccer team that the freshmen, sophomores, and juniors would throw an ‘ending to an era,’ party for the seniors. Although, it was a sad party, the alcohol would mask all the sorrow with fun, drunken activities. 

“Ugh, why is Tobin here? She is not even on the team!” Alex’s voice raged towards Syd.

“I don’t know why you don’t like her so much, but I do and I have listened to you complain about the girl for two years about how much you don’t like her. She is one of my friends too, Alex,” and with that Syd walked away from the drunken bitchy form that took over Alex. 

‘I don’t complain about her that much. I keep my thoughts usually to myself,’ Alex thought to herself. ‘Whatever.’

Alex needed some air. She headed towards the back sliding door and walked out onto the patio. There she was taking deep breaths in and out. The cool air was exactly what the doctor ordered, and Alex was at peace being out there alone. She leaned on the railing and closed her eyes just trying to regain some composure. 

The sliding door interrupted her serenity, as well as the, “oh shit,” that was whispered out. 

Alex’s eyes, once again shot open. She turned her head and saw Tobin just standing there not knowing what to do. Tobin was sporting a black snapback, a white v-neck, faded black jeans with rips in them, and converse. 

Alex, usually quiet around Tobin, was suddenly not so quiet. 

“You might as well come out here since you ruined my time at peace. I’ll go inside,” Alex spat out as she made her way towards the door behind Tobin.

Tobin, who may have had a few drinks in her, as well, did something she never thought she was going to do. She put her hand on Alex’s shoulder and forced the girl to stop.

“What is your problem with me?” Tobin didn’t sound accusatory, she just really wanted to know. 

“I don’t have a problem with you.” Alex played the dumb. 

“Right. So, in the years I’ve known you and the years we’ve lived across the street from each other, we have said maybe 8 words to each other.” 

“Well you can add 7 more words to that list! Oh look 10 more! Well, would you look at that, we just quadrupled our words.” Alex was being snarky. She tried to move past Tobin again, but the older girl continued to stop her.

“Why are you even here? You aren’t on the team. You didn’t play this year, remember?” Alex continued.

“They are still my friends and teammates, Alex. You are the only one on the team that has a problem with me here. Do you realize how ridiculous this is?” She gestured between the two of us. “You don’t even know me!”

“Tobin, just let me leave.” Alex was still stuck between the girl’s firm grip.

“Not until you tell me what is up.”

“Fine! I hate you!” Alex drunkenly slurred at Tobin. “I hate you, Tobin. Is that what you want? Some clarification? God you are dumber than I thought. I make it clear that I don’t like you. Why must you try to get it out of me when you already know I don’t like you. I hate your too chill attitude. I hate your showoffy skills in soccer. I hate how nice you tan! I hate how prefect your smile is! I hate how warm your eyes are! I hate how effortlessly beautiful you are! I hate –“

Alex was cut off by a pair of lips. Tobin’s lips. She froze, but soon began to match the girl’s rhythm. Her hands found the back of Tobin’s neck pulling the girl closer. She could feel Tobin’s hands, which were cupping her cheeks, move down her body and stop on her waist. The grip was getting tighter as Tobin got more into the kiss. This alerted Alex. She shoved Tobin off of her. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” She was angry. Tobin has never seen this side of Alex before. Not even when she was fouled roughly during a soccer match.

“I, uh, but you…” Tobin was at a loss for words. She was confused. That kiss felt perfect. It felt right.

“But, I what, Tobin? Just leave me alone!” Alex walked by Tobin and Tobin just let the girl pass, not capable of moving from her spot.

When Alex made it back inside she went right to the alcohol. She poured herself a drink and then asked if anyone wanted to take shots. Ashlyn, Ali, and Syd raised their hands and cheered. 

Alex always had a drink in her hand, and the girl was getting progressively more drunk. She was forgetting all about her anger towards Tobin.

“Kelllll, I love you!” She hugged the girl.

“I love you too, Alex!” Kelley loved drunk Alex and Kelley especially loved being drunk with drunk Alex. They were emotional drunks. 

“I have something I need to tell you,” she whispered in Kelley’s ear.

“What?” Kelley giggled back.

“I was outside and I ran into Tobin and we-”

“Kelley, we’re up! Let’s go!” Syd grabbed Kelley out of her hug with Alex and dragged her away before Alex could finish.

Alex didn’t have time to curse at Syd for taking Kelley away because Ashlyn came over.

“How’s my favorite Alex?”

“She’s good. She’s super drunk though.” Alex smiled at her teammate and leaned on her.

“I love when you’re drunk, Al. You’re such a carefree, fun, loving drunk,” Ashlyn professed as she wrapped her arm around Alex’s waist.

“I love loving! I love the way when you kiss someone you like. It just all feels right. Ya know? Like when you kiss, you get that warmness in your core.” 

“Wow. Joey must give you some good kisses.” 

“Oh…yea, Joey.” Alex took a sip of her drink.

Everyone was sitting in the living room drunkenly winding down the night. They were scattered players all over the floor and on the couches. Alex was lying on her stomach with her pillow tucked under her chest. 

“Alex, has Joey asked you to be his girlfriend yet?” Syd asked the girl.

Alex could feel all of her teammates eyes on her. She looked around and verified it. Tobin was the only one not looking at the girl. Tobin was on the other side of the room lying on her back looking up at the ceiling. 

“Nope. Hopefully soon!” Everyone, well not everyone, squealed. Alex saw Tobin turn over on her side so all she could see was Tobin’s back. 

After a few more minutes of drunkenly gossiping, the girls passed out. 

Alex’s eyes fluttered open, but tightly closed once she felt a shooting pain in her head. She let out a groan and rolled over to see her teammates sprawled all over the living room floor and empty solo cups everywhere. 

Alex didn’t waste anytime. She wanted to go home and go back to sleep in her own bed instead of the rough carpet spot on the floor. She gathered everything she had with her and opened up the front door. Her already half open eyes closed even more when she stepped out of the house and the sun warmed her face. 

She shielded her eyes from the sun only to see the backside of a girl sitting in front of her.

‘Ugh,’ Alex mentally growled at the sight of Tobin sitting on the front steps of the house. Alex took notice the girl wasn’t even playing on her phone and that she was just staring off into the front yard. 

Alex walked next to Tobin and descended down the steps onto the lawn and headed towards her car parked on the street. She didn’t even acknowledge Tobin.

“Alex!” Alex slowed her steps, but didn’t fully stop as she kept making her way towards her car. 

“Hey!” Alex felt Tobin’s hand on her shoulder turning her body around. She just looked at the older girl’s bloodshot eyes, but it didn’t look like Tobin was crying. She rationed that Tobin was just as hung over as she was.

Alex refused to say anything to the girl. 

“Can we talk about last night?” Tobin asked with her hand still on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex glanced at Tobin’s arm and that gesture made Tobin retract her hand. 

“What about last night?” Alex wasn’t playing dumb, she really had no idea what Tobin was talking about.

“You know…?” Tobin reached for Alex’s two hands and held them. At the touch of Tobin’s hands on hers, Alex’s mind recovered all memories of the night, including the one where Tobin kissed the girl and where Alex kissed back. Alex roughly pulled her hands out of Tobin’s. 

“No.” She stalked off to her car and drove away leaving Tobin on the grass. 

That night, Alex tossed and turned in her bed. She hated that kiss with Tobin. Hated it. She grabbed her pillow and slammed it on her face and screamed as loud as she could. She hated how good of a kisser Tobin was. She hated the way Tobin held her. She hated how attractive it was that Tobin cupped her cheeks to kiss her the way everyone should be kissed. Alex’s mind replayed the kiss over and over no matter how hard she begged it to stop.

The following Monday, Alex was more tense than usual. Every time she saw Tobin her body stiffened up. At one point, she saw Tobin looking at her across the hallway when she was talking to Joey. 

“I mean you should have seen the look on his face. It was absolute embarrassme-” Alex leaned in to press her lips against Joey’s cutting him off from whatever story he was telling her. The kiss was rough and forced. From a third point of view, one would even say it was awkward. When she pulled away, she smiled at him, and then looked in the direction of Tobin, but Tobin was no where in sight. 

Tuesday night, Alex was sitting in her room at her desk. She was typing up a paper when she looked out her window to see Tobin juggling a soccer ball on her front lawn. However, Alex noticed how uncharacteristic it was of Tobin to be messing up as much as she is right now. She sees Tobin walk over to the ball that got away from her, pick it up and slam it on the ground. ‘That’s definitely a yellow.’ Alex chuckled to herself. Alex returned her attention to her paper, but every so often, she would glance back out the window. 

The next day was the high school’s annual ‘Powder Puff Football’ game. It was the girl’s soccer, lacrosse and basketball teams versus the girl’s field hockey, volleyball and softball teams. The game is usually just for fun, but as soon as, Alex was nominated the captain of the Blue team, it was no longer just for fun. Alex put on eye black and took her role as running back. Alex was running extra hard and took out her aggression on the Red team. Her touches turned into pushes and she even dropped her shoulder and blocked someone from two handing touching her teammate. The fans loved it because it made the game more interesting. 

At halftime, the boys football team dressed up as cheerleaders and performed a cheer for the crowd. Alex kept laughing at how insane the boys looked, but her attention kept taking her to the crowd where a former teammate of hers was sitting on the bleachers laughing. Alex could see Tobin’s blinding smile from a mile away and it made everyone smile. She cursed herself because she thought of the night their lips met, but she quickly shook those thoughts out of her head.

Alex went back into game mode as soon as the cheer was over. Her thoughts of Tobin were long gone. 

She even patted herself on the back for not thinking of the kiss for the entire second half. But, palmed her face when she saw Tobin at the pizza shop the team went to after the game. Tobin got some sauce on her big bottom lip and Alex wanted to lick it off. This thought ticked her off. With brute force, she crumpled the empty paper cup she had and slammed it down on the table. This got everyone’s attention at the table, but Alex just apologized. 

Thursday was a relaxing day. The kiss was becoming a distant memory. Alex’s anger was beginning to subside. However, she, subconsciously, started distancing herself from Joey. She didn’t realize she was doing it until he came up to her and asked her what he did wrong. She told him she was just stressing about Berkeley and gave him a kiss on the cheek before going to her class. 

On Friday, Alex was walking in the parking lot looking at her phone not paying attention to her surroundings. A driver behind the wheel of a car was texting while maneuvering through the parking lot and didn’t see Alex walking. Alex had no idea a car was fast approaching her, but she did feel two strong arms pull her to the side of the lot aisle. She looked up to see a car just miss her and Tobin looking scared. “Was that car going to hit me?” Alex, dumbfound, asked Tobin. Tobin took her hands off of Alex and rubbed the back of her neck. “Uh, yea.” 

“Oh. Thanks.” It was the first time she sounded sincere to Tobin. Alex felt a little lighter for the rest of the day. Tobin saved her life. Well, she wasn’t sure if she would have died from impact, but Tobin saved her from getting injured. At this thought, she realized Tobin has been there when she needed help the most. The girl that Alex had treated like shit, had been nothing but amazing to her. Alex was beginning to feel nauseous as her feelings for Tobin were beginning to become undeniable.


	4. Chapter 4

At night, Alex heard a light tap on her bedroom window. She ignored the sound, but soon heard another tap, and another. Getting fed up, she went to move her curtains out of the way and was greeted by a figure standing on the ground in the rain holding her arm up getting ready to throw another pebble. 

She opened up the window. 

“Tobin?” Alex asked confused trying to make out whoever it is on the ground through the rain drops. Tobin put her arm down and dropped the pebble. 

“I need to talk to you,” Tobin spoke out, a little too loudly for Alex’s liking.

“Shhh, Tobin. Just go back to your house,” she whisper yelled.

“Not until you come out here and talk to me.” 

“It’s raining.” Alex really did not want to address Tobin and she was going to use every excuse in the book. She just wanted everything to go back to normal. That was working for her. Sort of. 

“Alex!” This alarmed Alex, but she was determined.

“And if I don’t?” Alex crossed her arms looking at Tobin.

“I will ring your doorbell until it wakes up your parents.” Alex just sighed and put on a sweatshirt and made her way downstairs. ‘You are welcome, parents.’

Alex opened the door and just stood in the door frame, not wanting to go any further.   
“Come here, Tobin.” She waved her arm for Tobin to come to the door.

“We need to talk about that kiss.” Alex took in Tobin’s appearance. The girl’s face and shirt was soaked from the rain and she had goose bumps on her bare arms. Alex, so badly, wanted to give the girl a hug or a towel, but quickly shook those thoughts away.

“Why can’t we just go back to how things were where you were okay with me not talking to you?” Alex let out an exhale. 

Tobin took a step closer to Alex, “you think I was okay with that?” It was soft and vulnerable and for some reason it put Alex at ease. 

“Tobin, I can’t do this. Okay? I still don’t like you.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. 

“But, why, Alex? What did I do to you? I am sorry for whatever it is, but you gotta tell me,” Tobin pleaded. 

Alex took a deep breath and finally let the words that have been bottled up inside of her for a long time, “I hate you because you make me attracted to you, Tobin, and there is nothing you can do about it. I am not supposed to like girls, Tobin. But, you waltz into my life and…why couldn’t you just have those damn braces you had in middle school. This would have made my life so much better?”

Tobin wanted to smile at the last part of Alex’s confession, but she was too hurt. She opted to just remain silent. 

“When we kissed that night, I realized why I had all this hatred towards you. It wasn’t hatred at all, it was…it was something else, but far from hatred to you. But, you made me hate myself. That’s why I was so angry with you, Tobin. Does that make sense?” Tobin felt a pang of guilt because she could hear the hurt coming off of Alex.

“I don’t know what to say, Lex. I can’t stop thinking about you and that kiss. No matter how much you hated me, I could never get over this crush I had on you.” The nickname just slipped out of Tobin’s mouth naturally and Alex’s lips almost curled upwards. 

Alex sighed. Here she was pushing away the one person she wants closest to her. She couldn’t help but think how attractive Tobin standing in the rain is, but she took a deep breath, “I just need you to leave my life.” Tobin just put her head down and turned away to head back to her house when she slightly turned back to look at Alex. 

“What I’m feeling is definitely not normal. And to be honest with you, Alex, I don’t ever want to be normal.” Tobin faced back to her house and retreated.

Alex was standing at the doorway just watching Tobin walk away. All these thoughts were taking over her mind and her body was getting anxious. In fact, she couldn’t stand still. She bit down on her bottom lip and ran her hand through her hair. She took her free hand and touched her lips. ‘Fuck it.’

Alex sprinted out the door and ran across the street. “Tobin!” Tobin spun around and caught the leaping Alex in her arms. Alex enveloped her legs around Tobin’s waist and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. For a week, the cravings she felt were finally fulfilled. She was an addict. And her drug was Tobin. 

With the help from Tobin, Alex slowly lowered her legs off of Tobin’s waist and planted them on the ground. Neither girl broke the kiss and Alex kept her arms behind Tobin’s neck. Tobin’s hands slid out from Alex’s bottom and glided up onto her hips. 

Tobin finally pulled away from the girl and rested her head against Alex’s forehead. “We’re probably going to get pneumonia, but if you need to hear all the reasons why we should be together, I can go on all night.” 

Alex kept her eyes closed and smiled. She pulled her head off of Tobin’s and just looked at the girl. 

“Will you come to my room?” Alex must have meant it as a rhetorical question because she didn’t let Tobin respond. She took her hand and dragged them upstairs.

“Be really quiet, okay?” she whispered to Tobin. Tobin nodded back at the girl. 

Alex shut her bedroom door behind them. Tobin walked in and just took in her surroundings. She was in the bedroom of the girl she has had a crush on for almost four years. 

“Man, you are soaked, Tobin,” Alex laughed as she walked over to Tobin and began pulling off Tobin’s t-shirt. Tobin was standing there in just her sports bra and Alex was amazed by Tobin’s abs. 

“Uh, Alex?”

“Sorry, what?” Alex shook her head looking at Tobin.

“I said can I borrow a shirt?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course!” She went to her drawer and pulled out a t-shirt for Tobin and sweatpants for Tobin. She threw them at her and proceeded to go into her bathroom.

Tobin changed and sat on the edge of Alex’s bed to wait for Alex to come out of the bathroom. 

Once Alex was out of the bathroom, Tobin stood up and made her way to the girl.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Tobin’s voice sent shivers down Alex’s body. All she could do is nod. 

She placed her hands on Alex’s waist. 

“You.’ She pecks Alex on her collarbone. Alex smiled at the feeling heating up in her core. She closed her eyes. “Are.” She moves to Alex’s neck. Alex slightly moved her neck giving Tobin more room. “My.” She kisses Alex’s jawline. “Favorite.” She slides up to Alex’s cheek. “Person to kiss.” She plants a lingering kiss on Alex’s lips. 

If Tobin wasn’t holding Alex by the hips, Alex could swear she would fall from her weak knees. 

“But, as much as I love to kiss you, we need to talk.” Tobin steps back, grabs Alex’s hands and walks towards Alex’s bed to sit down. 

“Okay, what would you like to talk about?” 

“So, I know why you did everything, I know why you treated me the way you did, but you hate yourself because of me and that is something that is going to be hard to live with,” Tobin confesses to Alex. 

“Tobin, I’m sorry that I said that. I shouldn’t have told you, you weren’t the sole reason I hated myself. You just are so damn attractive to me and I just couldn’t…and sometimes still can’t accept who I am. That I like a girl.” Alex was fiddling with her hands in her lap. She finally was able to talk about everything that has been bottled up and it felt good. 

“Hey, look at me.” Tobin takes her hand and brings it to Alex’s chin making the blue eye beauty look at her. “You and I? We are in this together. We both like a girl and we both are having a hard time accepting that.” Alex’s eyes shot open.

“You are having a hard time too?” 

“Alex, my family is super religious. C’mon. Only a select few people know about me.” Tobin removes her hand from Alex’s chin and runs it through her hair. “My family finding out I’m gay…I might as well get disappointment tattooed on my forehead. The soccer team is a release for me. Ashlyn, Lauren, and Kelley, they have all been there for me when I was trying to figure myself out. High school is already a hard time, ya know? Add on questioning sexuality and liking someone that hates you…it feels damn near impossible to enjoy.” 

“When did you start liking me?” Alex asks Tobin.

“First day of tryouts, your freshmen year.” Tobin smiled at the memory, but her smile faded. “Even if I did like you, I wasn’t going to do anything about it. I just wanted a friendship out of it. After I realized neither was an option, I knew I had two options: option 1, move on and accept we won’t be friends or option 2, have a crush on you for almost four years and do nothing about it. I guess, I chose option 2 because I was never able to move on, and it was really hard to accept that I couldn’t even be your friend.” 

Alex looked over at Tobin. “Was I really mean to you?” 

Tobin looked back into the blue eyes and paused a little before saying, “No, that would have required you to speak to me.” Alex could hear the hurt coming off of Tobin’s voice. She stood up and kneeled in front of Tobin, resting her hands on Tobin’s thighs. 

Alex looked up at Tobin. “We are talking now, and I will always talk to you. If I have to struggle with my sexuality, I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else, but you.” Tobin placed her hands on Alex’s and stood her up. She pulled the forward onto her lap. 

“Good, because I don’t think I can go another day with you not speaking to me after learning how amazing of a kisser you are.” She smiled at Alex. 

“Oh you think I’m amazing?” This is the first time Alex has felt so free. 

“Hm. At least, that’s what I remember. Maybe you should jog my memory.” Tobin’s side smile was enough for Alex to push her back on the bed and climb on top of her. 

Alex straddled Tobin and began sucking on Tobin’s bottom lip. She could feel Tobin’s hands on her hips gently rubbing up and down. Tobin’s hand slid further down to cup Alex’s butt and she began to push and pull ever so slightly where it was almost unnoticed by Alex. Alex’s hips gave in to the tension and began creating slow burning friction. Alex’s hips began to rock a little quicker when her eyes jolted open and she pulled back from Tobin. 

Alex jumped off of Tobin and sat on the edge of the bed with her head in her lap. 

Tobin crawled next to Alex and put a hand on the girl’s shoulder. Alex tensed up at Tobin’s touch.

“Lex, hey, what happened?” Alex couldn’t even look at the girl. 

“I just…I can’t do this Tobin. If I give in, I will not be able to stop. I can’t like you. What would people say?”

“Alex, you’re acting like we have to tell people. We don’t at all. I am okay with keeping this a secret as much as you are. Just, I don’t know maybe, consider not being so harsh to me. It really does hurt me.” Alex could see the sadness in Tobin’s puppy eyes. 

“You’re telling me you’d be okay with keeping this a secret? Tobin you deserve someone better than that and you are going to college next year where you can be free and hook up with whoever you want.” 

“How do you know I deserve better?” Tobin raised an eyebrow as she asked Alex. 

“Because, Tobin, you’re amazing. Why do you think I like you? Why do you think I hated you? You are so damn likable, but I am just a junior and I’m here for another year. You can go to college next year and just enjoy your time. Forget about me.” 

“Alex, what happened a few minutes ago where you said we are going to struggle with this together? Because there is no way I’m letting you leave me now. We can go as slow as you want, Lex. There is no need to rush. We are both new and inexperienced in this. But, you gotta talk to me, okay? You can’t just jump off of me and completely do a 180 on me.” Tobin moved to sit behind Alex and put the girl between her legs. She wrapped Alex into her chest. 

“It’s you and me, and if you think someone in college is going to be half the girl you are, you are nuts. Alex, I have had a crush on you for years. You think I’d be willing to throw all of this away for some random stranger at UNC?” Tobin rested her head on Alex’s shoulder and Alex leaned ever so slightly against Tobin’s head. 

Alex took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

“Okay.” 

“This is not the Fault in Our Stars, Alex.” Alex tried to hide her smile as she slapped Tobin’s knee. “Shut up.”

Alex and Tobin just sat in that position for a few minutes not saying anything. It was comforting for Alex. She could feel Tobin’s fingers lightly rubbing circles on her waist and could feel Tobin’s lips planted on her shoulder. 

Alex’s shoulder went cold as Tobin lifted her head. 

“So, I was serious. I don’t want you to go back to how things were in school. We can show people that we can be friends, right?” 

Alex felt horrible. She didn’t know what being just friends was like with Tobin. They jumped about 10 steps. 

“Tobin, I don’t know how to act as just your friend in public.” 

“Well, we can talk, joke, laugh. Sit next to each other at lunch. I don’t know, Alex. We can do everything you usually do with Syd or Kelley, just minus a few things.” 

“And if people ask why all of a sudden we are friends?” Alex turned to look at Tobin. 

“Simple. Say you had a revelation. You realized how amazing I am.” Tobin smirked, but Alex wasn’t giving anything in return. 

“Well you could just tell them that I helped you out at one party and we walked home that night and we just bonded. Alcohol bonds people, Alex. Haven’t you ever heard of those stories of girls becoming best friends with each other in bathrooms?”

Alex leaned her head back on Tobin’s shoulder and looked at her ceiling.

“Ya know, sometimes you say the absolute most perfect and right things, but then you always ruin in by adding in some weird joke.”

“You like my jokes.” Tobin kissed Alex on her cheek. 

“Hey, Alex?” 

“Yea, Tobs.”

“I’m really happy. I haven’t been this happy in four years. You make me happy.” 

“Can you sleep over? I don’t think I can go to bed knowing you aren’t next to me.” Alex felt Tobin bring them back further onto the bed and lie down. Alex curled into Tobin’s chest, while Tobin slid her hand under the shirt on rub gently on Alex’s back. 

Alex fell asleep faster than she has ever that night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's going to get a little angsty next few chapters probably.

Alex woke up the next morning with extra heat on her that she was not used to. Her eyes fluttered open and glanced down at the tan, muscular arm that was tossed over her torso. She could feel Tobin’s breathing on the back of her neck creating goose bumps on her arms. 

Alex took her hand and interlaced her fingers with Tobin’s fingers as she remembered everything that happened that night. She felt Tobin squeeze her hand and at that gesture, Alex finally spoke out knowing Tobin was somewhat awake. 

“Morning Tobs,” she rasped out. 

Tobin let out an inaudible ‘morning.’ Alex just smiled at her…well to be honest she didn’t know what Tobin was to her. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for the label. Could she really hear herself say ‘Tobin is my girlfriend?’ Girlfriend. Girl. Friend. Alex’s breathing started getting more rapid, but before she could explode into panic mode, she felt Tobin kiss the back of her shoulder. 

“Hey, relax. Just breathe, Lex.” Tobin released her hand from Alex’s grip and rubbed Alex’s back to calm the girl down. 

It seemed to work because Alex’s breathing evened out. Tobin had an effect on Alex that she couldn’t describe and even though Tobin was the cause of her almost panic attack, she was also the remedy. Alex knew that eventually she would have to come to terms that she likes girls, and to have a remedy already, was something that she was grateful for and was not willing to give up. 

Alex rolled over to face Tobin. 

“Thanks.” She gave a closed lipped smiled before nuzzling her face into Tobin’s neck. 

“As much as I love snuggling with you, do you think I should head back to my house, in case your mom comes into your room?” Alex’s eyes shot open because that thought never crossed her mind. But when she looked at Tobin’s soft eyes she got lost in them and leaned in to kiss Tobin’s lips. Alex felt Tobin’s tongue enter her mouth ever so slightly and she was craving more of it. When she knew Tobin was going to slip her tongue back in her mouth, Alex licked Tobin’s tongue very slowly. The twos’ tongues wrestled very sensually and Alex began to feel herself losing control of her body. She felt Tobin’s hand aggressively running her hand through her hair. 

No one has ever kissed her the way Tobin does. 

Knock Knock 

Alex pushed Tobin off her bed fast and told her to hide in her walk in closet. Tobin sprinted into Alex’s closet while rubbing her butt from the fall off the bed. 

“Come in!” Alex motioned while she fixed the sheets on her bed that got ruffled up during her make-out session. 

Alex’s sister, Jen, walked in the door. “Hey Al…wow you get serious bed head, kid.” Alex’s eyes widened as she quickly glanced at herself in the mirror that was in view from her bed. Taking in her sister’s statement, she ran her hand through her fingers to fix her hair. “Anyway, mom wanted me to tell you that breakfast is on the table,” Jen continued. 

“Oh okay, thanks.” 

“By the way, what was that thud sound I heard?” Jen raised an eyebrow to her sister.

“Thud? OH. Yea, that was me just being clumsy. I got tangled up in the sheets and fell off.” Alex was sure that lie was not going to pass, but her sister didn’t go into further detail. Jen closed the door leaving Alex alone to get ready for breakfast. 

Alex got out of her bed and opened her closet door to find Tobin sitting on the ground with her legs crossed looking at a year book from her freshman year. Alex sat down right next to Tobin. 

“You know; this was one of my favorite days. Picture day my sophomore. You were just so eager for the picture. I mean you were the only freshman that made varsity. You must have fixed your hair twenty times that day,” Tobin joked as she never took her eyes off the soccer page in front of her.

Alex smacked Tobin in the arm. “Shut up! I wanted to look good.”

At this, Alex saw Tobin lift her head and meet eye contact with her. 

“You’re an idiot. You are one of the most beautiful girls in our school. Every single guy in our school wants to get with you. You always look good.” 

“I’m sure not every guy, but that doesn’t matter to me anymore. Actually, it never really mattered to me anyway now that I think about it, but I do think you should leave, my sister told me that breakfast is ready and as much as I’d like to keep you in my room forever, it wouldn’t be right. You’d lose that tan of yours.” Alex stood up and reached for Tobin’s hand to help her up. 

Tobin closed the yearbook and placed it back in the box in the corner where she found it. She grabbed Alex’s hand and headed towards the window. 

“Tobin, I think I can sneak you out down the stairs, this is too dangerous.” 

“Nonsense. You have one of those vine things next to your window. I can just climb down that,” Tobin said as she took down the screen and straddled the window sill. 

“Come here, though.” Tobin signaled using her hands.

Alex walked over and looked down at Tobin. 

“Well, are you going to kiss me goodbye just in case I fall to my death? Or just stare at me?”

“Tobin…”

“Lex, I’m kidding. I’m going to be fine, but I do want that kiss.” Alex rolled her eyes and leaned down to give Tobin her kiss. She made she it was short because if it wasn’t, she would have never let Tobin leave. 

She watched Tobin successfully climb down the vines and make it to the grass. 

Alex sat at the table with her family eating the pancakes her mother made every Saturday morning. 

“Oh, look Mike! Jeff is outside. You should run out and catch him before he goes inside to ask what we should bring to their party tomorrow.” 

“What are you talking about, mom?” Alex asked her mother.

“Oh, dear. Did we forget to tell you? The Heath’s invited us over tomorrow. Well, most of the block for a party. Their oldest daughters are coming back to town and they wanted to have a big welcome home party since it’s been awhile.” Alex’s mother, Pam mentioned casually.

“Why am I always the last one to know things around here?” Alex spat out.

“Dear, why do you sound so angry? We are telling you now and it’s not like you ever mention Tobin to us as a friend, so I didn’t think you wanted to come. You don’t have to go; you know that right?” 

“Oh. I think I want to, though. Me and Tobin have gotten closer, so I won’t feel weird there.” Alex wasn’t about to tell them just how close her and Tobin have gotten. 

Alex’s father, Mike ran out the front door to go talk to Jeff Heath, Tobin’s dad. Alex saw Tobin exit her house and play some soccer with her dad on their front lawn. Alex took the opportunity to go out and talk to her…still not sure what Tobin is to her.

“Hey, Jeff!” Mike yelled from his front yard as he made his way across the street. Tobin and her dad both stopped playing when Jeff made his way to the end of his property. 

“Hey, Mike! How are you?”

Alex made her way over to Tobin who was in the middle of juggling the soccer ball with her back to her dad.

Alex noticed Tobin was too focused on her juggling to even feel her presence. She ran up to Tobin and snatched the ball out of mid air between touches. 

“Hey! I was- Oh! Hey, Lex! Give me my ball back!” Tobin yelled running after Alex who took off sprinting on the lawn laughing. 

Alex felt two strong arms around her waist as they collapsed on the ground. They landed next to each other on their backs just breathing heavily while laughing. 

“Can’t get enough of me already? I was working on a record before you stole my ball from me.” Tobin let out in between her breathing.

Alex rolled to her side and perched herself up on her elbow. 

“So, were you ever gonna tell me about your party tomorrow?” 

Tobin turned her head to Alex.

“Well, it’s not like I had too much time to tell ya. I mean we haven’t been talking and then we didn’t really talk too much last night,” Tobin smirked.

“Shhhhhh, Tobs.” Alex threw her free hand over Tobin’s mouth.

Tobin licked Alex’s palm causing Alex to jerk her hand away and wipe it on Tobin’s arm. “Gross!”

“You didn’t think my saliva was gross last night.” 

“Tobin. Stop. Our dads are right there.” Alex sat up annoyed at Tobin.

“Hey, you’re right. I’m sorry. They can’t hear us, though. So, don’t close me out. But, yes. There is a party at my place tomorrow. Your family is coming, I hear. But, I was thinking maybe you’d like to be my date. Secret date, obviously.”

Alex blushed as she relaxed. She turned her head to look back at Tobin and smiled at her before agreeing to be her secret date. Tobin returned with her giant grin. 

Alex decided to hang out on Tobin’s lawn for an hour. 

They were playing 1 v. 1 and when Alex won the game she ran around the front lawn cheering loudly. “See, I am better, Tobin!” 

Tobin chuckled before opening her mouth, “Anything you say, Lex. Do you want to come in for some water?”

Alex didn’t hesitant, not because she wanted water, but because she didn’t want to leave Tobin’s side. 

The two ended up heading in to Tobin’s kitchen drinking water. 

Alex spent more time talking to Tobin’s mom who was eager to meet the girl from across the street. 

“It’s such a shame you two didn’t hang out before because you are so sweet, Alex. I mean Tobin has mentioned you and so have your parents, but still I feel like I have barely seen you.” Tobin’s mom, Cindy, spoke out.

“Mom…I told you. Alex and I just hung out with different people on the team.” Tobin interrupted before Alex could respond.

“She’s right. We were just in two groups and then Tobin didn’t play this year.”

“Well, I’m glad you are able to hang out now before Tobin leaves us for college. If everything goes right, she will not even be able to attend her high school graduation because of call ups to the U20 National Team.” Alex was at a loss for words. She knew Tobin was good enough to be on the National Team. I mean she has been on the other youth ones, but at the thought of Tobin having a short senior year made Alex feel sick. She just got Tobin, and now Tobin is leaving her.

“Yea…” Alex finally let out softly. “I guess we will just have to make most of the time we have left.” Alex couldn’t help but sound hurt. She is sure everyone else in the room picked up on it. 

Cindy brought Alex out of her thoughts. “Well, Alex when my daughter leaves me I don’t want you thinking that you cannot come over here. I want you to come over whenever. Especially, since you have to teach me this Monopoly Deal game you were telling me about.” 

Alex smiled at how adorable Tobin’s mother was. Now it all makes sense to her the way Tobin carries herself. She is a spitting image of her mother. Super sweet and gentle.

Cindy left the kitchen leaving Tobin and Alex alone. 

“Sorry about what she said. I was going to tell you eventually, but I haven’t gotten called up, yet and this is still brand new, so I wasn’t sure how much I should put on you before we even talk about what we are.” Tobin played with her hands on the kitchen counter.

“It’s okay. We have time to figure this all out, right?”

Tobin perked up and gave Alex a big smile, “yea! Mad time, yo! Do you have any plans today?” 

“Not that I know-shit.” Alex remembered she was supposed to hang with Joey today. “Damn it, Tobin. I am so sorry, but I have plans with Joey.” 

“Well, just tell him you can’t make it. You are going to break it off with him anyway, right?” Alex could feel Tobin looking at her for an answer.

“I mean; I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t even thought of him until just now. I don’t know what to tell him. He is going to be so hurt. I can’t believe I forgot about him.”

“I can.” Alex heard Tobin say under her breath.

“Excuse me?” Alex spat out.

“Oh come on, Lex. Whenever I saw you two together you looked so uncomfortable and the relationship looked too forced. When you are with me do you feel forced? No, it feels natural. At least that’s what I pick up on.” 

Alex didn’t know why she was getting angry because Tobin was speaking the truth, but her stubbornness took over. 

“I have to hang with him today. I promised him.” Alex saw Tobin stare back down at her hands.

“So, break your promise a lot of people do it. I don’t even bother promising people anything because of reasons like this. Hang with me.” Tobin rationed.

“Tobin, I can’t do that to him.” Alex tried to look into Tobin’s eyes, but it wasn’t working. Tobin wasn’t looking away from her hands on the counter.   
“Okay, go.” Tobin didn’t leave any chance for a response from Alex. She walked out of the kitchen and into another room. 

Alex froze, but began to process that this will look weird if she stayed in the kitchen any longer. She quickly made her way to her house.

She went to her room to grab her phone and noticed she had 22 text messages and four missed calls. She hadn’t touched her phone since Tobin started throwing pebbles at her window. 

She had 7 from Kelley, 3 from Syd, 10 from Joey, and 2 from Ashlyn. She decided to check Kelley’s first. 

10:09pm: Kelley: Hey Lex, do you have any good Netflix recommendations? I can’t sleep.

10:14pm: Nevermind, I found a good one about this cult.

10:45pm: People are so fucked up.

9:09am: Hey, way to respond to my texts. I’ll just assume you were asleep last night. 

9:11am: Are you doing anything today? I’m bored.

11:38am: Dude. Joey is freaking out, why aren’t you responding to any of us?

12:00pm: Alex!!!!!!!

She quickly wrote back that she was in fact asleep last night and then her mom made breakfast this morning so she couldn’t have her phone at the table.

9:43pm Joey: Hey, babe? Are you doing anything? Want to talk on the phone?

10:17pm: I guess not. I’ll just assume you fell asleep on me. Such a sleepyhead. Goodnight babe 

8:32am: Goodmorning!! Are we still on for today?

9:23am: Alex?

10:15am: Can you text me so I know you’re okay…im sorta freaking out over here

11:44am: What is going on with you? I had to call Kelley for help, but you wont answer her either.

12:01pm: Should I just make plans with other people

12:18pm: I’ll take that as a yes. 

12:26pm: Cool. Good talk.

12:33pm: Alex please tell youre okay. Please!

Alex quickly exited the conversation to call Joey. 

“Alex are you okay!?” Alex had a ping of guilt building up in her stomach at how scared Joey sounded. 

“Hey, I am so sorry. I fell asleep early last night and then my sister woke me up this morning for breakfast and then I left my phone upstairs and got carried away with a little soccer on my lawn with my dad.” Alex just waited for a response from Joey. 

“You didn’t check your phone once? When you and I are together you have your phone on you.” 

“That’s not true. I don’t use my phone at dinner and I don’t know. My phone was my last thought this morning I guess.” 

“Are you coming over today?” Alex closed her eyes as she held the phone tightly against her head. 

“Uh,” Alex looked out her window at Tobin’s house, but quickly shook her head. ‘Yea, let me just shower and change.” Alex hung up the phone and groaned as she made her way into the shower. 

It was taking Alex a long time to finally get out the door. She has never been this slow before. 

She opened the front door to Joey’s house. 

“Hello?” 

“In here!” Alex heard a voice yell from another room. Alex assumed it was the living room. That’s where the two always hung out. 

Alex walked into the living room to find Joey sitting in front of a cabinet searching for a DVD. 

He stood up and made his way over to greet her with a hug and a kiss. 

“I thought we’d watch Jurassic World.” He held up the DVD as Alex made her way to the couch.

Alex just smiled as she got herself more comfortable on the couch. Joey placed the DVD in the slot and sat right next to Alex to begin some small talk before the movie started. 

He grabbed Alex’s chin and tilted her head towards her. Alex was going in for a peck, but she felt Joey try to pry her lips open with his tongue. She let him, but it felt wrong. He didn’t kiss her the way she wanted to be kissed. Only one person could do that. 

Alex started to feel nauseous. She felt like she was cheating on Tobin. 

Her thoughts were racing, but they came to a halt when she felt Joey begin to place his hand on her left boob. 

Alex jumped and pushed Joey off of her. 

Alex saw a smirk in Joey’s eyes, and she couldn’t quite understand why it was there. Alex began to think that Joey thought she was pushing him back so she could climb on top of him. 

Boy was he wrong.

“I can’t do this, Joey. I can’t be with you. We need to stop this.”

Joey’s facial expression went from sexual to flat in a matter of milliseconds. 

“I wish I could say I was surprised, but you have been pushing me aside for the past few weeks now. I just thought it was the Berkeley thing, but now I know it’s been me.” Alex caught the hurt in Joey’s voice. 

“It wasn’t you, Joe. I just…I don’t want a relationship right now. I am sorry. I tried really hard to be in this, but I can’t fight it anymore. You deserve someone so much better that can give you everything. I just can’t be that person.” 

“Is there someone else?” Alex didn’t answer right away because her mind immediately went to Tobin, but her and Tobin were at an awkward standstill currently.

“I still hope so,” Alex whispered very softly almost unheard, but based on Joey’s facial expression, he heard every word. 

“They are very lucky.” Alex blinked out of her thoughts at what Joey just said. She offered him a smile and a thank you before heading to her car with one destination in mind. 

Alex made it to her development and parked her car in her driveway before heading to Tobin’s.

She stood on Tobin’s lawn under where her bedroom window. 

She dialed Tobin’s number in her phone and was relieved when Tobin picked up. Alex stared at the window while talking to Tobin.

“Hello?” 

“Hey, can we talk?” Alex asked.

“Sure, but before we do, can I ask why are you standing on my lawn looking at my window?” 

Alex’s face started to redden. She looked at another window on the first floor to find Tobin standing there laughing at the girl.

“I was trying to do the whole pebble thing, without the pebble part because I don’t have the best aim. Shut up, I don’t need to explain this to you. Can you come outside?” 

“On my way.” With that Alex heard the phone go dead. 

Alex slid her phone in her back pocket just as Tobin was leaving her front door.

“Hey,” said Tobin. It wasn’t the usual cheerful hey that Alex was so used to.

“I saw Joey today, and I ended it with him.” Alex didn’t wait a minute. She wanted to cut right to the point.

Tobin’s smile was slowly getting bigger and bigger. 

“That makes me very happy. What happened?”

“Well, we were watching a movie and then he started kissing me and it just didn’t feel anything like it does when you kiss me.” 

“You kissed him back?” Alex could swear she has never seen this side of Tobin.

“He..kissed me. I didn’t know what to do…I ended it with him. Isn’t that important?” Alex was pleading for an answer for Tobin.

Alex just watched Tobin look at the ground. She could feel a tear forming in her tear ducts, but she refused to release it. 

“Tobin, please say something.” 

Tobin finally picked her head up to look at Alex. 

“I don’t even have a right to be mad, that is what I am really angry about. We didn’t make this official yet, and I guess it just sucks to hear you kissing someone else, but you’re allowed to do whatever. Just like you were allowed to stop hanging with me to go hang with him.” Alex was having a hard time reading Tobin. She wasn’t sure if that was a jab at her or not.

“Tobin, I’m sorry I left you to hang with him. I’m not really sure why I even did it, but trust me Tobin. It is you I want. No one else.” Alex took a slow step forward hoping Tobin wouldn’t back away.

“Say it again. Say you want me.” Alex’s breath hitched at the serious tone in Tobin.

“I-I want you,” Alex stuttered out due to the nervousness Tobin made her feel.

Tobin stepped closer to Alex.

“Good. I’d make you kiss me, but we are outside in the middle of the day.” Alex couldn’t take her eyes off the smirk on Tobin’s face. She so badly wanted to kiss Tobin, but she wasn’t ready for that sort of talk if anyone in her family found out.

“Look, Lex. I don’t want to be one of those couples that have a rocky start. We already have so much going against us. So, here is what I want. I want you to always tell me how you are feeling. If we are keeping this a secret, then there is going to be a lot of stress. You should tell me everything on how you feel because I will be the only one that will understand it. Alright?”

“Okay, I will.” Alex leaned in to hug Tobin. She didn’t care at this point. Her and Tobin were together and that’s all that matters. 

They broke apart from their hug and Tobin dragged Alex inside her house to hang out.


	6. Block Party and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heath's block party

The Heath's have really out done themselves with the block party. In true block party fashion, Essex St. was blocked off from any cars coming or leaving. A good thing too because beer and liquor were being served. The front yard of the Heath's had tents up filled with food and drinks, and the street was filled with neighborhood kids running around playing soccer. Music was blasting and everyone was enjoying the return of the two older Heath sisters. 

"Mom! C'mon, let's go!" Alex yelled to her mother who was still upstairs putting on her final touches. Her mother asked to wait for her since her father grew too antsy. 

"Give me a minute, and would you be a dear and get the fruit tart out of the fridge to bring over!" Pam screamed back. Alex made her way over to the fridge and grabbed her mom's famous homemade fruit tart. By the time she turned her around after eyeing the fruit tart, her mother was in the kitchen sticking in her last earring. The two finally left the house and walked over to the Heath's. 

Alex saw her dad talking to Tobin's dad and Tobin's sisters talking to strangers, but there was no sign of Tobin anywhere, until she felt a soccer ball hit in her in the back of the legs. Without even turning around Alex already knew who the culprit was and she was right. She turned around to see Tobin whistling and rocking back and forth on her feet. 

"Oh hey Tobs, weird of you to be here right when this soccer ball hit me," Alex sarcastically let out. 

"I am not too sure what you are talking about Alex, but since you are here, why don't we grab a drink?" Tobin led them to the drinks tent and make shift bar and cracked open two root beers. 

"So, you look nice, trying to impress anyone?" Tobin asked with a smile. Alex was wearing short jeans shorts and a tank top, but her hair flowed just right and had the perfect amount of makeup on. 

"Nope, just an average outfit, I'd say," Alex nonchalantly said as she looked down at herself. 

"Yea, yea." Tobin couldn't help but smile at the girl in front of her. 

Tobin looked at Alex's lips and realized she needed to kiss the girl. She pulled Alex to the backyard of her house to sneak away from the party and as soon as the gate closed she pushed Alex up against the brown wooden gate and kissed her. Alex wrapped her arms around Tobin's neck and deepened the kiss. Tobin took a step back and apologized that she just needed to get that out before the party continued. Alex just laughed at Tobin and proceeded to head back to the block party with Tobin in tow.

As the party continued, Alex and Tobin were seen playing soccer, well destroying the neighborhood kids in soccer, or eating burgers at a table under the tent because they got too hot from the game. The two seemed attached at the hip and they liked it that way. Tobin brought Alex over to a tent that had games and balloons at it. She pulled out a balloon and started blowing air into it. Alex couldn't stop laughing at Tobin attempting to make her a dog out of the balloon. The final product ended up being a snake or a sword, according to Tobin, "but snakes are cool!" 

Unfortunately, with all the soda and water she had been drinking her bladder was forcing her to part from Tobin. She decided to just go to her house being that it was right there and use her own bathroom. When she came out she found Tobin talking to her two sisters, mother and a random boy. She made her way over there, but was intercepted by her own mother. 

"Dear, give Tobin some breathing room. Her mom is trying to set her up with that young man." Alex's face dropped at the words from her mother. She didn't want to give Tobin some breathing room especially if it meant a guy would be talking to Tobin. Alex's anxiety started to kick in and her breathing was becoming a problem. She started shaking a little. Her mom wrapped her in a tight hug. 

"Alex, what is wrong?" Her mother said concerned. 

"M-mom, she can't be with that guy. I-I li..know he's not good enough for her," Alex stuttered out hoping her mother did not catch on to what she was about to say. Alex's mom raised an eyebrow and had concluded any sort of thought she had about her daughter's interactions with Tobin earlier. 

"Alex, I know you like Tobin and it's okay! I love that kid and I think you two would make an awesome couple. You need to stop being so scared. I am your mother telling you it is okay to like Tobin. What more do you need to be afraid of?" Alex couldn't believe what her mom was telling her. She stopped freaking out and her breathing was controlled. She looked at her mom and started crying tears of relief. She gave her mom one last hug before making her way back into the house to freshen her face up because she was not about to walk back up to Tobin with her makeup running and face puffy. 

Alex needs to stop leaving the party because every time she comes back outside she sees Tobin with the same guy. She decides that she is tired of being scared. If her mother was the one to tell her to go for it, then she is going to go for it. Alex walked down her driveway and heading straight to Tobin and the guy talking. They seemed to be getting along just fine because the guy could not stop laughing at what Tobin was saying. Well she was going to do this. She ended up sitting at a table next to Tobin's mother and a few neighborhood ladies. 

She watched Tobin and the guy interact for about twenty minutes. She just couldn't peel her eyes off of them. The way he grabbed her arms when he couldn't breath from some stupid joke she probably told to the way she knocked his shoulder at some sarcastic comment he mentioned. The two, from a third party, seemed to hit it off quite well. It also did not help that she was listening to Tobin's mom and a few neighbor friends talking about Tobin and guy and how they finally got them to meet. It seemed everyone wanted Tobin to be with the guy, everyone but Alex that is. 

She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't hear anymore of what the ladies were saying. When she saw the guy grab Tobin by the hands, she had enough. Even though he only held her hand for a split second, it was split second too long in Alex's book.

As she walked right up to the pair she stepped in between Tobin and the guy, and before Tobin could say anything, Alex grabbed Tobin's face and kissed it. Tobin dropped her drink she was holding and wrapped her hands around Alex's waist. The kiss was short, but had a whole lot of meaning behind it. The guy walked away from the pair leaving the two standing there with their eyes closed and their foreheads touching. 

"What about being a secret?" Tobin asked.

"How can I not show you off?" Alex asked back. "Truth is my mom gave me some balls to do this. She told me that we would make a cute couple and I agreed."

Alex released Tobin and took a step back to see how Tobin would respond. 

Tobin's face lite up immediately and she stepped back in and hugged Alex. "So, does this mean what I think it means?" 

"Depends on what you think it means, Tobs." 

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Tobin asked. Alex stepped forward and gave Tobin another kiss on the lips before nodding and hugging the girl. 

Tobin's mother made her way over to the girls. "Um, do you have something you would like to tell me Tobin?" 

"Uh, yeah, so you saw that. Well this isn't really how I was expecting to tell you. I was thinking more of a dinner, ya know? But, if it has to be this way, then so be it. I guess what I am trying to get out is that..."

"I really like your daughter Mrs. Heath and she just asked me to be her girlfriend and I hope you will be okay with that because I can't imagine not being with her," Alex interrupted saving Tobin from the word vomit. Tobin's mother just looked at Tobin with no expression at all. She then faced Alex and a huge smile erupted on her face. 

"Of course I am okay with this!! How could I not be? Truth is, your mother and I have been talking today and we have noticed you two hanging out and thought you guys would be cute, but I was not so sure, so I thought I'd set Tobin up because it didn't seem like you two were more than anything but friends." A sigh of relief came onto both of the girl's faces. Tobin's mother hugged the two girls and walked away to go find Pam to talk about the new pair.

"Wh-what just happened?" Tobin asked Alex. 

"I think they are going to start planning our prom dresses," Alex joked. 

"Oh, so we're going to prom together?" Alex didn't answer Tobin's question mainly because she did not realize that going to prom with Tobin would mean being out to everyone. However, what she did know is that she wasn't freaking out at the thought. 

"You'll have to find a clever way to ask me and then we shall see," Alex smirked. 

As the party was dying down and Tobin had a long talk with her siblings with Alex by her side, the two decided a movie night is what they needed. Alex stayed outside to help the Heath's clean up to which Mrs. Heath told Tobin that Alex was a keeper and when everything was put away and cleaned up the pair went into the Heath's house and onto the couch to watch a movie with Tobin's family. 

They cuddled on the couch around the Heaths, and Alex couldn't have picked a more perfect way to end an amazing day. That is until she realized she had school on Monday.


End file.
